BROKEN WINGS CAN FLY TOO

What a time to find inspiration! November is my favourite month for obvious reasons, I came to be and thanksgiving. I always put things into perspective each year as one chapter comes to an end and I flip a page into a new one.

It’s been generally a rough year, with a pandemic rocking the foundations of the world and forcing humanity to adjust; loss of lives, economies crumbling, cutbacks, jobs loss and businesses shutting down. As a result, there have been a number of people affected and don’t know how to start over, daily living has become a silent struggle. Then there are young people who even before the pandemic, had already been struggling to find sustainable jobs and with this recession the situation turned worse leaving them feeling hopeless. If you can relate to these circumstances, this is for you.

We go through different seasons of life, some are good - life changing and others will make you doubt your strength. But, no matter how tempting it is don’t you ever throw in the towel, these moments that break you are not for your destruction but an opportunity for your redemption. On a personal level, I have had my fair share of stumbles, it’s a difficult process; when all you have envisioned for yourself doesn’t go as planned, and it may drain all your energy leaving you with feelings of pain and doubt. Sometimes you work hard for your dreams and what you truly believe in, even try out new things, only for your life to pull off a perfect mannequin challenge. I almost gave up on my own strength but I am one to be so stubborn about my dreams, with every loss, I gained my strength. Somewhere in the clouds a silver lining awaited. Broken wings can fly too, never stop believing in yourself, with prayer and persistence you can begin to penetrate the things that seem impossible in your life.

A few lessons I learnt:

Take time to process your pain but be kind to yourself: Allow yourself to be vulnerable to feeling every emotion you are, don’t deny your situation.  Take time to process your emotions and grieve your situation then start refocusing yourself for your next step. It is difficult experiencing frustration, inadequacy and hopelessness but it's not something that has to define you.  Use this as a stepping stone, to get you where you want to go. It is okay to feel defeated when it happens, you are not a failure just because you had a setback so be kind to yourself.

Learn to be okay if it happens and if it doesn’t: The concept of falling isn’t one that sits easy with us, but in as much as we may wish to be successful in our plans, it’s inevitable; at some point we are bound to stumble. For someone who likes being in control of every situation, I learnt to let go and relinquish control because everything becomes okay in the end. You have to learn to embrace the fact that if it doesn’t work out right now it probably just means “take a detour or there’s a better timing or there’s better coming your way.” This acceptance makes it a little bit easier to navigate.

Redefine your goals: Experiencing setbacks allow you to adjust your course. Learn from your experience, evaluate your options and redefine your goals with your larger vision in mind. Once you’ve outlined your goals, map out a plan to action and execute them. Your plans could range from taking some time to heal from a situation, reading a book every week, networking, scouting for opportunities, working on your CV, applying for a job or scholarship, looking for investors for your start-up idea and so on. Over time, your plans and goals will be your purpose; it will get easier to rise up and follow through.

To the young person that feels hard-pressed, frustrated, discouraged and hopeless; when all is seemingly lost, embrace your inner pioneer, it will propel you to heights unimaginable. If you are willing to rise, give yourself time, take those broken wings and learn to fly, a silver lining in the clouds await.

SLAMMING DOORS

The slam of the door is the storm inside that often goes unspoken. Though the sound lasts only seconds, it sits on one’s mind like a chaotic drum beat.

We all have unique sets of circumstances in our lives while on the path to following our dreams be it in the career or academic sphere. For some people the path may pan out, but for most, the path can be challenging and unexpected. However, the experience is often more rewarding and enlightening. I recently had a conversation with one of my childhood friends and as we delved deep into it, we touched on rejection. “I don’t take rejection too well; it’s almost personal to me” he said, as he highlighted his experience chasing his dream of working as an Engineer at one of the largest telecommunications provider in the country. After a number of attempts, despite his qualifications, the door was slammed on his applications. However, after a while of feeling frustrated by it, he came to the realization that maybe it wasn’t meant to be; more opportunities came knocking, he is now learning, growing and doing better at his current firm.

This conversation opened me up to my own experiences too; I mean, I laughed so hard when he mentioned that rejection is almost personal to him, because this has been me. I have experienced a reasonable share of rejection even when I was confident enough that everything was great. I’ve always been one to go so hard for what I believe in and the moment I hit a wall or take an L, the impact is just as hard. In that moment my core is shaken and it almost feels like my world is crashing down. On a number of instances, my initial reaction was denial; I would find my mind unable to rest until I establish a logical explanation for the rejection because more often than not, thorough feedback may not be provided.

Well, most of us have been there, the dreaded rejection email, letter or phone call and the after effect of that slammed door. It is never an easy experience, particularly if you’ve faced several rejections so far in the chase for your dream career, study or project, just to name a few, it can be easy to feel dejected and disheartened. If you have performed to the best of your ability, prepared for an interview, client pitch, study essays, displayed your relevant expertise and demonstrated your competencies but was still turned down; you can take comfort from knowing that there’s little else you could have done, that maybe it wasn’t for you and a better opportunity awaits.  Your confidence can take a hit but work hard at keeping your morale and motivation levels afloat.

Through slamming doors, at the very least I have made a conscious decision to always manage rejection or a loss by picking on the lessons learnt from the experience. It’s not an easy process of growth but is obviously necessary in pushing forward with a fresh perspective. If you encounter unending rejection then use it as a means for developing resilience. Remember, overanalyzing can drive you insane, truth is, soaking in your own disappointment only serves to keep you stuck in the past while taking so much energy away from you in the present that you need to recharge, pick yourself up, and forge forward to take on a dream opportunity.

It’s okay to take time out as you process the wave before approaching a new opportunity, however, use this time to build up your self-confidence and a positive mind-set. But also ensure that you also take action to better yourself while remaining true to your personality and experience.


Written By: Dorcas Waringa | 29/04/2020

TOWARDS BETTER...

Allow me to express myself not as an expert in this case but first as a human being who happens to be a youth and a citizen of this nation because we deserve better.

For the longest time I have intentionally shied away from matters politics and governance but only previously indirectly participated through awards and innovative opportunities that have allowed me to express my views. I mean every time we talk politics we have to deal with so much baggage; don’t we all hate baggage? I know! We forget or choose to forget reason and logic; we forget that we deserve better, throw caution to the wind and it’s man against man, tribe against tribe, the majority against the minority, the haves against the have-nots, power against the law.

So yes, until we realize much of which we hold in high regard is affected by politics only then we can find our voices of reason and speak up; we are talking governance, global trade, economy, public policy, businesses, national integration and so much more. 

We are being poked guys, are we even aware of that? Constant poking gets painful with time and in extreme cases our bodies begin to get numb. 

Dear youth, 

I know you feel tired, so much strength has been drained out of you by some of the personal issues you have to deal with every day; you are trying to establish your business, it’s not been easy, you’ve been looking for sustainable employment but nothing, you would like to settle down with your partner but there are processes involved, you are not ready. There’s so much pressure from society to succeed and be someone respectable. 

It’s too much, right? Politics is the least of your concerns I know; it’s too much of an addition to all that you have to deal with. We want it all to end but we don’t have the strength to fight, we want it all to end but we are afraid to speak up, afraid to lose our jobs because some of our employers are involved. We want it all to end but are confused on how to go about it, caught up in our comfort zones “I don’t give a damn as long as I get my salary at the end of the month” so we say.

photo courtesy

We are forgetting that we have a choice that we deserve better and we should demand better but this is only possible if we learn to fight together, only if we put aside our personal interests and fight for a common good. We have human rights and civil society organizations but even they are struggling though they have the muscle and with the right support we can push for better. 

What if the millions of youth in this country had a day set aside for a march for change and I don’t mean the vulnerable… no, we’ve allowed them to fight for us too long. I mean you with an independent mind, you who cannot be manipulated by politics, you who understands policies, you who know we deserve better and is willing to take a day off and can in every way humanly possible call for action.

If we can learn to embrace and appreciate the beauty of our diversity, the power it holds then unlearn all the negative aspects we’ve captured through the history of politics in this country, maybe then we can begin to move towards better.

Written By: Dorcas Waringa | 27th March, 2018

DISCONNECTED DOTS…

What better time to find this inspiration, it’s the beginning of the year and many of us have set goals, realigned our vision and are working towards achieving them. I was speaking with a friend earlier, explaining that I’ve been feeling extremely anxious lately, especially at the beginning of a new week or month. He asked me why: in that moment my expectations, goals, and dreams flashed through my mind; “the dots are disconnected.”

I have realized that the moment we find the starting point to our dreams, we usually have predetermined in our minds that it is supposed to unfold in a specific way and then we meet a brick wall, we panic and anxiety sets in. The dots suddenly fail to connect and all that is left are scattered pieces of a puzzle. It doesn’t mean we have to stop working toward our goals; maybe just try if it fits differently. 

Having experienced my share of disappointments, I’m becoming more aware and learning how to hold them in check. A while back I came across a dream opportunity that was empowering and exciting in a way that motivates you through life. Confidently and full of hope, I went for it! Waiting on feedback felt almost like a lifetime, somehow I knew too well it could go both ways but the reality of failing at a first attempt came hitting hard. I was fully immersed in that moment, I froze and everything else paused as my mind spiraled through confusion, disappointment and feelings of defeat loomed. It took me a while to recover from this and even so, sometimes how I realize that it’s not an easy process is when I find myself feeling afraid to expect or hope for so much. Through this process I learnt the importance of not letting all my hopes and happiness ride on dreams coming true and that sometimes you need to allow yourself to appreciate the freedom in just having the opportunity to try no matter the outcome; with that I got a second wind and pursued it again.

The fear of being disappointed is the one thing that plagues us; we get consumed with questioning ourselves while in the process haunting our most daring pursuits. We find ourselves responding as such, “I don’t know what I want but it’s definitely not this” we begin to doubt the process and opportunities that are presented. Subsequently, we refrain from taking the actions we know we must take in order to achieve a desired goal or objective. We all feel this way once in a while, the reality is that fear will always be there; even as we grow and adapt to new situations, there will always be something new or different that scares us. But we have to be willing to face our fears and go for it anyway; it is the only way we will move forward.

 

Most important to note is that your dream life is attainable, but keep in mind things will get hard and seem too difficult to bear, there will be times where you fall and don’t want to keep going. But the rewards on the journey are far greater than the curve-balls life throws.

Life is a series of small destinations, paving way for new discoveries and a fulfilling journey. Sometimes we’ve got to keep our eyes from solely focusing on the goal and focus on the process as it keeps us grounded and shapes our character. There’s no defined path that leads to achieving your goals, connect the dots and create your own path.

Written By:

Dorcas Waringa

29th January, 2018

At The Heart of Ubuholi Camp; Diplomacy Births Love

My perfect stranger

The long awaited week had finally come; we had just checked into the Ubuholi Camp for the 10^th edition of the global youth diplomacy forum. The beautiful land of Imfihlakalo played host to a global community of young and aspiring diplomats from across the world in a 5 day long series of events that aimed to develop their skills in international affairs.

The land of Imfihlakalo is dominated by a large forest area part of which covers the Ubuholi Camp; its landscape formed a fairy-tale canopy above our heads as its fresh woody incense filled the atmosphere. The orchestra of birdsong could be heard within the scenery creating a symphony of song. We settled at an open space, where the trees fell away, revealing the glory of the sky, the forest awash with a tender glow. I give credit to the organizer as this was just the perfect environment for the forum, it was well thought through.

Photo Courtesy

We all gathered around the assembly point and were divided into several teams that were a representation of different regions of the world. Each team had an area that was marked and fenced with wooden rods such as a territory. We got acquainted to each other, pitched tent within our respective territories; lit bonfires had dinner and we were set for a good night rest. I must admit I was a bit anxious; my first camping experience wasn’t the best, I can remember swearing never to go camping again but here I was. Don’t we sometimes find ourselves going back for the same experiences we swore never to? All in all this was a unique opportunity; I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

The rest of the days were marked by a series of fun activities, training and team challenges. The concept for the group activities and challenges was derived from the different elements of diplomacy of course to enable us gain further insights on global leadership influence and improving our interactions with different nations. I was privileged to lead one of the teams – Atlantis State and it was expected of us to apply in practice diplomatic skills with the Zothique State which was led by Liam. Two entities resolving state conflicts through communication and negotiations for a mutual understanding and peace. After which we were to submit our reports to the coaches on the final day.

I went over to the Zothique State to meet Liam so we could put together our final report following the progress on the negotiations, this must have provided the perfect opportunity for a casual interaction; we had never had the chance to share conversations beyond the forum. The first time Liam and I interacted during the team negotiations I had an unusual feeling that escalated to moments where we could steal glances at each other and look away quickly to avoid getting noticed.

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It was getting dark, the sun slowly falling behind the horizon as the entire Ubuholi camp became lit with large towering bonfires. Liam suggested he would walk me back to our camp; “Can we get away for a moment, let’s hang out by the waterfall I hope you don’t mind?” he whispered, slightly squeezing my hand as though trying to get my attention. Anxious, I agreed reminding him we couldn’t stay away too long as we needed to join the rest of the teams by the bonfire. This was our last night at the camp and so an evening programme had been prepared by the coaches to discuss a few insights as well as our highlights from the forum before we could leave the next day.

When the trees parted the waterfall came into sight, it was drizzling on the rocks and flowed smoothly down into the beautiful serenity-pool at the bottom. Liam had brought with him a wrap that we used to cover ourselves amidst the cold breeze, his embrace was heavenly. Our connection was out of this world, it felt like we had known each other our whole lives. In the depth of our conversation, the honey sweet smell of the spring flowers perked up our spirits and our senses became fully attuned. The drumbeats went on and intensified signalling the call to assemble. We walked back to the camping site our arms hugging each other’s waist, I must have stopped breathing in the moment; we were chatting and giggling and in certain instances lightly laying my head on his chest.

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The bales of hay had been beautifully set-up around the bonfire painted in the colours of the different states represented. As we all settled down on the bales, the coaches asked different representatives to share some of their experiences and highlights from the camp. 

Liam stepped forward and as he walked us through every bit of his experience he diverted, “This camp has completely transcended my expectation, I have learnt so much and its practical nature I came across a treasure. This experience has opened up my mind to very great insights and yet opened up my heart to a connection, the most amazing feeling. Dorcas, please join me.” At that point my knees felt week, my heart was racing and so much was going on through my mind; it was intense, was I really ready for this? He proceeded, “I have enjoyed the interaction I had with all of you but mostly with you Dorcas, you’ve made me feel so warm inside you’ve showed me life from a new and fresh perspective, it may be early to say what the end of the start of this new friendship will be, but I am ready to cross over to the next level with you as my girl. So what do you think; are you ready to get on this ship with me? I remembered the days I prayed that it would happen so naturally, the path through my passion was opening up a world I had shelved and here I was in this foreign land, a stranger I was just getting to know calling for my heart.

And in that moment we looked straight into each other’s eyes, my heart jittery; I knew the Ubuholi Camp would mark the beginning of a story of a love birthed; in the heart of diplomacy nations reconciled and two strangers made perfect. As the whole camp cheered on... I awoke flutters and warmth still linger in the memory of it.

A tale from the Ubuholi Camp, inspired by a dream

Written By:
Dorcas Waringa
15th April, 2017 

Lace up | Get on track

Sometimes all that matter is that you believe in yourself and that should be your starting point...

Growing up as a teenager, I used to spend part of my sporting days on the track; I remember so vividly how sweet the taste of victory was and the disappointment that also came with not winning because all that mattered then was getting ahead of my competition!

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As a youth I have been introduced to the art of running a marathon for charity and through my participation, I got a whole new perspective on competitions. My decision to participate in similar marathons has been based entirely on achieving an objective for a cause as well as proving to myself I could do it. At the end of the race I’ve always realized that it’s not just about winning but the satisfaction that comes with completing the race. 

There are different kinds of people that you’ll find on the running track: those that run all through to the finish line and those that walk in between runs, those that stumble, fall, get up and continue on the race and those that would rather opt out after the fall.

An experience on the running track is a reflection of our journey in life and especially towards setting goals and realizing our dreams. I have a picked a few lessons and values from my experience on the track that can be applied in every aspect of our lives; be it education, career, relationships or family.

Set Your Goal and Focus on It

We have the ability to achieve anything if we set our minds to it and sometimes if one thing doesn’t work for you, how about exploring a different option? Anything from charity races, casual jogs, walks, cycling, or competing in major marathons whatever your end goal is get on your track and keep focus. 

I have realized over time that while we live in a digital age, there’s a lot of distraction (on social media) especially among the young people. We realize that we spend a better part of our life distracted; comparing ourselves with our peers, psychologically being in competition with them and wanting to be better. Comparison slows progress; more often than not, you end up walking in someone else’s shadow, in turn failing to explore your potential to the fullest. It sets you up for depression, feelings of unworthiness and discontentment.

There’s always going to be somebody who’s better than you, how about you use it as a motivation to push you forward towards achieving your own goals?

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Prepare, Plan and Pray

There’s a certain level of dedication, that’s required in training and practice before setting yourself for the track. We are required to prepare ourselves mentally, physically and emotionally for every task involved towards accomplishing our dreams. With preparation comes planning and identifying the right tools and networks.

If you believe in a higher being, you understand the importance of prayer and dedicating your plans and dreams to God; you’ll need His guidance, enough strength and wisdom to overcome every obstacle while pushing yourself forward.

You Will Face Obstacles

It is always exciting when you think about how big your dreams are and what a joy it would be to see them come to life. Life rarely goes exactly as you plan; setbacks and obstacles will be part of the process. And when these obstacles arise they make the goal seem kind of improbable. Your success will depend on how you tackle or manage them.

This is a case of mind over matter, the reason obstacles plunge us into a state of inactivity and prevent us from moving forward is because of the thoughts that we allow ourselves to dwell upon. Acceptance of your current situation and keeping a positive mind-set goes a long way towards overcoming these obstacles.

Always Keep Your Head Up After the Fall

No matter how many times you fall, because you will and sometimes your world may come tumbling down; never lose your vision. Be consistent, get up, and dust yourself like the proverbial donkey that fell in a pit and keep going.

We stumble not because our dreams are out of reach, but rather because of the unforeseen obstacles. There are days getting through life will be painful, keep pushing through the pain. Endurance builds character, this is how you know that you are destined for greatness.

 

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Celebrate Every Little Milestone

It is important to celebrate your milestones whether big or small, this helps a great deal towards motivating you to take a bigger step than the one you’ve previously achieved.

You can’t just wake up one morning and voila! Everything has fallen into place. It takes a series of small achievements to run a marathon; you begin with a few kilometres and graduate to higher levels bit by bit. Just the same way, achieving that ideal balance in your life takes smaller steps, mistakes, learning and growth.

Written By: Dorcas Waringa | 3rd February,2017| Copyright; dorcsperspective.blogspot.com