DISCONNECTED DOTS…

What better time to find this inspiration, it’s the beginning of the year and many of us have set goals, realigned our vision and are working towards achieving them. I was speaking with a friend earlier, explaining that I’ve been feeling extremely anxious lately, especially at the beginning of a new week or month. He asked me why: in that moment my expectations, goals, and dreams flashed through my mind; “the dots are disconnected.”

I have realized that the moment we find the starting point to our dreams, we usually have predetermined in our minds that it is supposed to unfold in a specific way and then we meet a brick wall, we panic and anxiety sets in. The dots suddenly fail to connect and all that is left are scattered pieces of a puzzle. It doesn’t mean we have to stop working toward our goals; maybe just try if it fits differently. 

Having experienced my share of disappointments, I’m becoming more aware and learning how to hold them in check. A while back I came across a dream opportunity that was empowering and exciting in a way that motivates you through life. Confidently and full of hope, I went for it! Waiting on feedback felt almost like a lifetime, somehow I knew too well it could go both ways but the reality of failing at a first attempt came hitting hard. I was fully immersed in that moment, I froze and everything else paused as my mind spiraled through confusion, disappointment and feelings of defeat loomed. It took me a while to recover from this and even so, sometimes how I realize that it’s not an easy process is when I find myself feeling afraid to expect or hope for so much. Through this process I learnt the importance of not letting all my hopes and happiness ride on dreams coming true and that sometimes you need to allow yourself to appreciate the freedom in just having the opportunity to try no matter the outcome; with that I got a second wind and pursued it again.

The fear of being disappointed is the one thing that plagues us; we get consumed with questioning ourselves while in the process haunting our most daring pursuits. We find ourselves responding as such, “I don’t know what I want but it’s definitely not this” we begin to doubt the process and opportunities that are presented. Subsequently, we refrain from taking the actions we know we must take in order to achieve a desired goal or objective. We all feel this way once in a while, the reality is that fear will always be there; even as we grow and adapt to new situations, there will always be something new or different that scares us. But we have to be willing to face our fears and go for it anyway; it is the only way we will move forward.

 

Most important to note is that your dream life is attainable, but keep in mind things will get hard and seem too difficult to bear, there will be times where you fall and don’t want to keep going. But the rewards on the journey are far greater than the curve-balls life throws.

Life is a series of small destinations, paving way for new discoveries and a fulfilling journey. Sometimes we’ve got to keep our eyes from solely focusing on the goal and focus on the process as it keeps us grounded and shapes our character. There’s no defined path that leads to achieving your goals, connect the dots and create your own path.

Written By:

Dorcas Waringa

29th January, 2018

At The Heart of Ubuholi Camp; Diplomacy Births Love

My perfect stranger

The long awaited week had finally come; we had just checked into the Ubuholi Camp for the 10^th edition of the global youth diplomacy forum. The beautiful land of Imfihlakalo played host to a global community of young and aspiring diplomats from across the world in a 5 day long series of events that aimed to develop their skills in international affairs.

The land of Imfihlakalo is dominated by a large forest area part of which covers the Ubuholi Camp; its landscape formed a fairy-tale canopy above our heads as its fresh woody incense filled the atmosphere. The orchestra of birdsong could be heard within the scenery creating a symphony of song. We settled at an open space, where the trees fell away, revealing the glory of the sky, the forest awash with a tender glow. I give credit to the organizer as this was just the perfect environment for the forum, it was well thought through.

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We all gathered around the assembly point and were divided into several teams that were a representation of different regions of the world. Each team had an area that was marked and fenced with wooden rods such as a territory. We got acquainted to each other, pitched tent within our respective territories; lit bonfires had dinner and we were set for a good night rest. I must admit I was a bit anxious; my first camping experience wasn’t the best, I can remember swearing never to go camping again but here I was. Don’t we sometimes find ourselves going back for the same experiences we swore never to? All in all this was a unique opportunity; I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

The rest of the days were marked by a series of fun activities, training and team challenges. The concept for the group activities and challenges was derived from the different elements of diplomacy of course to enable us gain further insights on global leadership influence and improving our interactions with different nations. I was privileged to lead one of the teams – Atlantis State and it was expected of us to apply in practice diplomatic skills with the Zothique State which was led by Liam. Two entities resolving state conflicts through communication and negotiations for a mutual understanding and peace. After which we were to submit our reports to the coaches on the final day.

I went over to the Zothique State to meet Liam so we could put together our final report following the progress on the negotiations, this must have provided the perfect opportunity for a casual interaction; we had never had the chance to share conversations beyond the forum. The first time Liam and I interacted during the team negotiations I had an unusual feeling that escalated to moments where we could steal glances at each other and look away quickly to avoid getting noticed.

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It was getting dark, the sun slowly falling behind the horizon as the entire Ubuholi camp became lit with large towering bonfires. Liam suggested he would walk me back to our camp; “Can we get away for a moment, let’s hang out by the waterfall I hope you don’t mind?” he whispered, slightly squeezing my hand as though trying to get my attention. Anxious, I agreed reminding him we couldn’t stay away too long as we needed to join the rest of the teams by the bonfire. This was our last night at the camp and so an evening programme had been prepared by the coaches to discuss a few insights as well as our highlights from the forum before we could leave the next day.

When the trees parted the waterfall came into sight, it was drizzling on the rocks and flowed smoothly down into the beautiful serenity-pool at the bottom. Liam had brought with him a wrap that we used to cover ourselves amidst the cold breeze, his embrace was heavenly. Our connection was out of this world, it felt like we had known each other our whole lives. In the depth of our conversation, the honey sweet smell of the spring flowers perked up our spirits and our senses became fully attuned. The drumbeats went on and intensified signalling the call to assemble. We walked back to the camping site our arms hugging each other’s waist, I must have stopped breathing in the moment; we were chatting and giggling and in certain instances lightly laying my head on his chest.

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The bales of hay had been beautifully set-up around the bonfire painted in the colours of the different states represented. As we all settled down on the bales, the coaches asked different representatives to share some of their experiences and highlights from the camp. 

Liam stepped forward and as he walked us through every bit of his experience he diverted, “This camp has completely transcended my expectation, I have learnt so much and its practical nature I came across a treasure. This experience has opened up my mind to very great insights and yet opened up my heart to a connection, the most amazing feeling. Dorcas, please join me.” At that point my knees felt week, my heart was racing and so much was going on through my mind; it was intense, was I really ready for this? He proceeded, “I have enjoyed the interaction I had with all of you but mostly with you Dorcas, you’ve made me feel so warm inside you’ve showed me life from a new and fresh perspective, it may be early to say what the end of the start of this new friendship will be, but I am ready to cross over to the next level with you as my girl. So what do you think; are you ready to get on this ship with me? I remembered the days I prayed that it would happen so naturally, the path through my passion was opening up a world I had shelved and here I was in this foreign land, a stranger I was just getting to know calling for my heart.

And in that moment we looked straight into each other’s eyes, my heart jittery; I knew the Ubuholi Camp would mark the beginning of a story of a love birthed; in the heart of diplomacy nations reconciled and two strangers made perfect. As the whole camp cheered on... I awoke flutters and warmth still linger in the memory of it.

A tale from the Ubuholi Camp, inspired by a dream

Written By:
Dorcas Waringa
15th April, 2017 

Lace up | Get on track

Sometimes all that matter is that you believe in yourself and that should be your starting point...

Growing up as a teenager, I used to spend part of my sporting days on the track; I remember so vividly how sweet the taste of victory was and the disappointment that also came with not winning because all that mattered then was getting ahead of my competition!

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As a youth I have been introduced to the art of running a marathon for charity and through my participation, I got a whole new perspective on competitions. My decision to participate in similar marathons has been based entirely on achieving an objective for a cause as well as proving to myself I could do it. At the end of the race I’ve always realized that it’s not just about winning but the satisfaction that comes with completing the race. 

There are different kinds of people that you’ll find on the running track: those that run all through to the finish line and those that walk in between runs, those that stumble, fall, get up and continue on the race and those that would rather opt out after the fall.

An experience on the running track is a reflection of our journey in life and especially towards setting goals and realizing our dreams. I have a picked a few lessons and values from my experience on the track that can be applied in every aspect of our lives; be it education, career, relationships or family.

Set Your Goal and Focus on It

We have the ability to achieve anything if we set our minds to it and sometimes if one thing doesn’t work for you, how about exploring a different option? Anything from charity races, casual jogs, walks, cycling, or competing in major marathons whatever your end goal is get on your track and keep focus. 

I have realized over time that while we live in a digital age, there’s a lot of distraction (on social media) especially among the young people. We realize that we spend a better part of our life distracted; comparing ourselves with our peers, psychologically being in competition with them and wanting to be better. Comparison slows progress; more often than not, you end up walking in someone else’s shadow, in turn failing to explore your potential to the fullest. It sets you up for depression, feelings of unworthiness and discontentment.

There’s always going to be somebody who’s better than you, how about you use it as a motivation to push you forward towards achieving your own goals?

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Prepare, Plan and Pray

There’s a certain level of dedication, that’s required in training and practice before setting yourself for the track. We are required to prepare ourselves mentally, physically and emotionally for every task involved towards accomplishing our dreams. With preparation comes planning and identifying the right tools and networks.

If you believe in a higher being, you understand the importance of prayer and dedicating your plans and dreams to God; you’ll need His guidance, enough strength and wisdom to overcome every obstacle while pushing yourself forward.

You Will Face Obstacles

It is always exciting when you think about how big your dreams are and what a joy it would be to see them come to life. Life rarely goes exactly as you plan; setbacks and obstacles will be part of the process. And when these obstacles arise they make the goal seem kind of improbable. Your success will depend on how you tackle or manage them.

This is a case of mind over matter, the reason obstacles plunge us into a state of inactivity and prevent us from moving forward is because of the thoughts that we allow ourselves to dwell upon. Acceptance of your current situation and keeping a positive mind-set goes a long way towards overcoming these obstacles.

Always Keep Your Head Up After the Fall

No matter how many times you fall, because you will and sometimes your world may come tumbling down; never lose your vision. Be consistent, get up, and dust yourself like the proverbial donkey that fell in a pit and keep going.

We stumble not because our dreams are out of reach, but rather because of the unforeseen obstacles. There are days getting through life will be painful, keep pushing through the pain. Endurance builds character, this is how you know that you are destined for greatness.

 

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Celebrate Every Little Milestone

It is important to celebrate your milestones whether big or small, this helps a great deal towards motivating you to take a bigger step than the one you’ve previously achieved.

You can’t just wake up one morning and voila! Everything has fallen into place. It takes a series of small achievements to run a marathon; you begin with a few kilometres and graduate to higher levels bit by bit. Just the same way, achieving that ideal balance in your life takes smaller steps, mistakes, learning and growth.

Written By: Dorcas Waringa | 3rd February,2017| Copyright; dorcsperspective.blogspot.com

Gambles & Tumbles

Rising above the gamble patch

“Today, we give you the power to read and do all what appertains to your degree. Go ye out there and prove it to the world that you are a product of whose quality is guaranteed…”

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Let me to take you back to the day you shifted your tassel with so much enthusiasm and the joy of conquering the journey that had been had engulfed you; the fruit of the years spent cultivating what would now be the foundation of your career. The words that gave you strength and confidence; it was going to be fine, after all you had the weapon – Education, so you thought. You are released to the labour market, to face society, and prove to yourself that you are indeed ready to take on the world.

Flash-forward to the present day and we are painted a very complex picture, they say experience is the best teacher; I’m yet to ascertain if by “best” they had in mind the harsh reality that comes with that bit of learning. You also realize that part of learning entails gambling through life, falling, rising, laughter, sacrifice and pain; it’s a whole network of actions and emotions.  I have interacted with a number of people mostly graduates; those currently unemployed, employed or self-employed who are still on the journey trying to gain a sense of themselves in the world. In case you are wondering whether their career is shaping up exactly how they had imagined it would a few years down the line; it’s not the case. I guessed so at least for most. 

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The reality is that most either love their career, earn less than they expected, are surviving through it but it’s taking a toll on them. In real sense a number are going through the gambling patch, you try one thing when it doesn’t work you try another until you reach the goal of finding a sense of fulfillment. If you have tried to reach your goal and tumbled because you encountered a hurdle, don’t stop - jump higher.  And sometimes before you figure it out; it’s normal to find yourself caught up in the gamble and tumble of life. The fact is that you’ll be confronted with a climb, more complex and sometimes difficult than you had envisioned; that is the nature of goals.

In the quest for sustainability in your life or career, you’ll be taken into a new territory, fear and doubt will engulf you, you’ll experience meltdowns and so many times feel overwhelmed but you’ll have to make a decision and a commitment to yourself. The decisions you make at this point in life are very critical in determining your chances of success, your ability to navigate your way through.

No matter how scary, stuck or uncertain you might feel about your situation, relax and take some time on introspection, pray and take action; take the necessary steps you would need to gain new tools and concepts to move forward on your goal. You’ll also need as much optimism and drive required in tackling it.

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When you’ve gambled through life and failed enough times always remember that “You try things, some work, some don’t, and you do more of what works.” Sometimes to find a clear sense of direction towards achieving your goals and making bolder steps up the ladder, you have to keep an open mind. No one ever wants to experience setbacks or failure; it can be so disheartening especially for a perfectionist and can push you over the edge in worst cases. I am still learning that sometimes it helps to redefine failure, to take it as an opportunity to re-evaluate yourself, shift your course and find new motivation.

If you are a young graduate and you’ve probably heard different experiences of those ahead of you, don’t fret, and just don’t keep your hopes too high as well. Set reasonable goals, pray, build your confidence muscle; to break through in a world where there’s so much intimidation, you’ll need this. The challenges you’ll face in the course of your journey will however offer you opportunities to gain mastery over your career and life.

As the Tide Goes Out

The walk along tide-pools into the deep sea

A few years back we went on a campus vacation to the coast and while at it, there was a proposal that those interested could explore the ocean. If you’ve ever been to the beach, you understand that there’s a certain period of time when the tide goes out, the level of the water decreases and the flow of the water is stronger going out. This is the time most tourists on vacation prefer walking along the tide –pools deep into the ocean to get a glimpse of all sorts of sea creatures and features. 

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I wasn’t so sure I was ready to take that walk; I have always been partially thalassophobic. This notwithstanding, deep within I felt the need to conquer, besides, it would have been a unique addition to the list of my adventures and so we began the walk. The guide briefed us and we were strictly instructed to follow his foot path as there are specific areas that were to be avoided and considered unsafe. Let me state that by the time we were being warned of the areas to avoid, I felt a strong need to go back – doubt had engulfed me. How was I going to survive this, dodging the sea urchins, the heat, what if the tide comes in halfway the walk? I had no choice but to proceed, there’s no way the guide was going to keep the rest waiting and guide me back to the shore.

I must admit, that if you would watch anyone walking past the tide-pools you would think it’s an easy walk. It was one of the most difficult walks I’ve ever experienced, the deeper we went the more interesting and exciting it became but also the harder it was trying to keep balance and keeping sight of the dangerous underwater creatures. The lagoons were a sight to behold, a captivating beauty of nature. Walking back to the shore before the tide came in required a similar level attention, still holding on to my fear I unintentionally stepped on a sea urchin. Naturally sea urchins release poisonous stings in defense when they are stepped on, and if the sting isn't removed in good time it might cause damage to  one's system - it hurts but I guess that’s just one of nature’s bad side. At that point I was overwhelmed with regret as to why I decided to take on that walk despite feeling constrained.

This experience is a basic reflection of our real life encounters. Most of us if not all have goals and dreams that we hope to achieve, it may be related to personal growth, relationships, career or family among others. However, attempting to move through the noise in our minds can be so overwhelming. Our fears can sometimes drive us off balance or even cause us to get bogged down in apathy especially when we have to deal with change or venture into unfamiliar territories. 

Occasionally when we experience a constant self-doubt that we aren’t prepared or smart enough, we end up not enjoying the process or our success. Just as my reaction to the sea urchin sting, we are often quick to beat ourselves up in regret at the slightest encounter of failure. 

Life’s inevitable stings will always parade in the way of your goals or dreams; perhaps you’ve hit a career wall or you are facing a personal challenge that simply won’t go away. You don’t have to give up, many people have, but it doesn’t have to always be the case. Your dreams will take you into a new territory and bring you face-to-face with your own fears and doubts. The issue is not about how to avoid fear, but how to make positive decisions that boost your confidence while fear is present.

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Whenever you find yourself off-centred, tap into your inner centre on what you can do to eventually bring yourself back on balance. Trying to find the perfect balance as you pursue your dreams will bring along stress, fear, doubt; this experience is precisely important in shaping your confidence. Learn to always keep your options open as the world is changing too fast and be ready to take risks. You do not always have to make decisions when your journey is easy, you have to do it when it’s hardest to do so. That’s because to break through what is holding you back, you have to go through the fear and doubt. Tough choices are self-empowering, hence leading to personal growth.

As the tide goes out and the noise in your head settles, take on that walk with confidence. It’s not going to be easy, in fact once in a while you’ll unexpectedly step on the urchin and when life stings it will hurt but always remember to get rid of the sting and get back on your feet.