BROKEN WINGS CAN FLY TOO

What a time to find inspiration! November is my favourite month for obvious reasons, I came to be and thanksgiving. I always put things into perspective each year as one chapter comes to an end and I flip a page into a new one.

It’s been generally a rough year, with a pandemic rocking the foundations of the world and forcing humanity to adjust; loss of lives, economies crumbling, cutbacks, jobs loss and businesses shutting down. As a result, there have been a number of people affected and don’t know how to start over, daily living has become a silent struggle. Then there are young people who even before the pandemic, had already been struggling to find sustainable jobs and with this recession the situation turned worse leaving them feeling hopeless. If you can relate to these circumstances, this is for you.

We go through different seasons of life, some are good - life changing and others will make you doubt your strength. But, no matter how tempting it is don’t you ever throw in the towel, these moments that break you are not for your destruction but an opportunity for your redemption. On a personal level, I have had my fair share of stumbles, it’s a difficult process; when all you have envisioned for yourself doesn’t go as planned, and it may drain all your energy leaving you with feelings of pain and doubt. Sometimes you work hard for your dreams and what you truly believe in, even try out new things, only for your life to pull off a perfect mannequin challenge. I almost gave up on my own strength but I am one to be so stubborn about my dreams, with every loss, I gained my strength. Somewhere in the clouds a silver lining awaited. Broken wings can fly too, never stop believing in yourself, with prayer and persistence you can begin to penetrate the things that seem impossible in your life.

A few lessons I learnt:

Take time to process your pain but be kind to yourself: Allow yourself to be vulnerable to feeling every emotion you are, don’t deny your situation.  Take time to process your emotions and grieve your situation then start refocusing yourself for your next step. It is difficult experiencing frustration, inadequacy and hopelessness but it's not something that has to define you.  Use this as a stepping stone, to get you where you want to go. It is okay to feel defeated when it happens, you are not a failure just because you had a setback so be kind to yourself.

Learn to be okay if it happens and if it doesn’t: The concept of falling isn’t one that sits easy with us, but in as much as we may wish to be successful in our plans, it’s inevitable; at some point we are bound to stumble. For someone who likes being in control of every situation, I learnt to let go and relinquish control because everything becomes okay in the end. You have to learn to embrace the fact that if it doesn’t work out right now it probably just means “take a detour or there’s a better timing or there’s better coming your way.” This acceptance makes it a little bit easier to navigate.

Redefine your goals: Experiencing setbacks allow you to adjust your course. Learn from your experience, evaluate your options and redefine your goals with your larger vision in mind. Once you’ve outlined your goals, map out a plan to action and execute them. Your plans could range from taking some time to heal from a situation, reading a book every week, networking, scouting for opportunities, working on your CV, applying for a job or scholarship, looking for investors for your start-up idea and so on. Over time, your plans and goals will be your purpose; it will get easier to rise up and follow through.

To the young person that feels hard-pressed, frustrated, discouraged and hopeless; when all is seemingly lost, embrace your inner pioneer, it will propel you to heights unimaginable. If you are willing to rise, give yourself time, take those broken wings and learn to fly, a silver lining in the clouds await.

SLAMMING DOORS

The slam of the door is the storm inside that often goes unspoken. Though the sound lasts only seconds, it sits on one’s mind like a chaotic drum beat.

We all have unique sets of circumstances in our lives while on the path to following our dreams be it in the career or academic sphere. For some people the path may pan out, but for most, the path can be challenging and unexpected. However, the experience is often more rewarding and enlightening. I recently had a conversation with one of my childhood friends and as we delved deep into it, we touched on rejection. “I don’t take rejection too well; it’s almost personal to me” he said, as he highlighted his experience chasing his dream of working as an Engineer at one of the largest telecommunications provider in the country. After a number of attempts, despite his qualifications, the door was slammed on his applications. However, after a while of feeling frustrated by it, he came to the realization that maybe it wasn’t meant to be; more opportunities came knocking, he is now learning, growing and doing better at his current firm.

This conversation opened me up to my own experiences too; I mean, I laughed so hard when he mentioned that rejection is almost personal to him, because this has been me. I have experienced a reasonable share of rejection even when I was confident enough that everything was great. I’ve always been one to go so hard for what I believe in and the moment I hit a wall or take an L, the impact is just as hard. In that moment my core is shaken and it almost feels like my world is crashing down. On a number of instances, my initial reaction was denial; I would find my mind unable to rest until I establish a logical explanation for the rejection because more often than not, thorough feedback may not be provided.

Well, most of us have been there, the dreaded rejection email, letter or phone call and the after effect of that slammed door. It is never an easy experience, particularly if you’ve faced several rejections so far in the chase for your dream career, study or project, just to name a few, it can be easy to feel dejected and disheartened. If you have performed to the best of your ability, prepared for an interview, client pitch, study essays, displayed your relevant expertise and demonstrated your competencies but was still turned down; you can take comfort from knowing that there’s little else you could have done, that maybe it wasn’t for you and a better opportunity awaits.  Your confidence can take a hit but work hard at keeping your morale and motivation levels afloat.

Through slamming doors, at the very least I have made a conscious decision to always manage rejection or a loss by picking on the lessons learnt from the experience. It’s not an easy process of growth but is obviously necessary in pushing forward with a fresh perspective. If you encounter unending rejection then use it as a means for developing resilience. Remember, overanalyzing can drive you insane, truth is, soaking in your own disappointment only serves to keep you stuck in the past while taking so much energy away from you in the present that you need to recharge, pick yourself up, and forge forward to take on a dream opportunity.

It’s okay to take time out as you process the wave before approaching a new opportunity, however, use this time to build up your self-confidence and a positive mind-set. But also ensure that you also take action to better yourself while remaining true to your personality and experience.


Written By: Dorcas Waringa | 29/04/2020