The Directionless Dark

                 My experience...

She tried moving towards anything that felt like the right direction but with each step she bumped into a wall. Reality suddenly hit her she was trapped; trapped in emptiness - a dark hole, with no way out.

She plunged into a sorry state, a pity party to be precise. She was helpless caught up... tried shielding herself from the world. The only solution she had in mind was an escape to an Island, shutting herself out from anything that oozed life.

She was losing her mind, her thought process. Doubt suddenly set in, fear of the unknown, lost her will to fight for what she believed in; God, her dreams, her vision and purpose for life. Everything in her mind fell apart, for a moment her body felt numb.

She tried to awaken the zombie that had engulfed her but the struggle was real. On the flip side what she didn’t realize at that point was the fact that God was waiting on her call, to receive her; He wanted her to understand that He was in control but that didn’t make sense, she shut Him too.

She quit the fight, walked out of the battle field went deep into slumber so she could spare herself the agony; it was too much for her to handle.

Change of mindset

The change of her mindset was her dawn. She started collecting the pieces and putting them together, at that point her life flashed in front of her and she was reminded in flashback the journey that has been. She began putting things into perspective. Every aspect of her journey mattered after all; each hurdle and success gave meaning and preparation to her present and future respectively.

I put down these sentiments not too long ago when I became overwhelmed and plunged into meltdown. I believe it is definitely not the nicest thing that can happen to anyone but it is an inescapable fate for many and a rare occurrence for a few. Nevertheless it happens and we are left with no choice but to find ways of coping in such situations.

When one experiences a meltdown, they freak out, lose control of themselves and this can sometimes be characterized by depression, crying or frequent emotional tantrums at the slightest provocation and in most cases the victim withdraws from his/her normal activities and networks. 

It is a battle of the mind that can be won

Situations like this catapults us into a state of being that triggers the normal operations of the brain. The mind fixates on the negative aspects of a particular area of your life; it’s almost as if nothing else matters... a perception which is a complete fallacy.

Sometimes life beats you to the ground, you lose your sense of direction... and are pushed to an emotional edge; when this happens, get up and STOP! Be calm and try figuring it out... even if it means taking a day off or going on a vacation to clear your mind off things, make sure you achieve a balanced state of mind and keep moving forward.

Before you beat yourself up and crawl in pity, understand that this is not a disease but a battle of the mind that can be won. No situation is permanent after all, and when you thought life didn’t matter because you failed a step towards the journey of a thousand miles, or because you lost that job, lost love, failed your family or felt down-trodden... stop, be calm, breathe... you might be wrong.  It all matters!

“The mind is a very powerful tool that can work for or against you. This battle was every bit as mental as it was physical. I couldn't let the darkness that came at night control the outcome of my days. I had to be fearless, fight through the pain, and face the unknown.” Dave Liniger

Written By: 

Dorcas Waringa 

13/10/2015